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   Author  Topic: Writting  (Read 6371 times)
sillyfairy
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  mariposa445   sillyfairy07
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Re: Writting
« Reply #120 on: Dec 11th, 2002, 7:43pm »
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Wow I really thought those last two poems were amazing.  I can identify with both. The first one about someone losing interest in you hehe that's happend to me. And the second about everyone judging you. I thought those were awsome, keep writing your poetry.
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    ashleythrockstar
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Re: Writting
« Reply #121 on: Dec 11th, 2002, 7:46pm »
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rock on to all!
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Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares us to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is ourselves under pressure.
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  grandexaltedstar2002   JuiceboxDutchess
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Re: Writting
« Reply #122 on: Dec 12th, 2002, 9:23am »
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Ash started to write music to my "I Am" poem and it's so beautiful!!!!! I can't believe someone actually made a song out of my poems, I almost cried. It's so awesome and I am so in awe of Ash. Hehe.
 
And I want to thank everyone for the nice comments. They make me feel warm and fuzzy!!!!
« Last Edit: Dec 12th, 2002, 9:23am by RockChica02 » IP Logged

"Of all the shooting stars I knew, I never fell for anyone but you..."- Ozma

"One night I met you as the rain glistened in the shine of your eyes."- Melee

.irony.is.for.suckers.
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    NOXpunk30
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Re: Writting
« Reply #123 on: Dec 12th, 2002, 7:46pm »
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oh val, that first one TOTALLY explains what happened to me, except the fact that we are still best friends, but man some of these poems are so close its creepy... and "i am" is really good... make sure to tell ash I WANT TO HEAR IT TOO!!!!! Smiley hehehe
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And what you've got means such a lot to me

Someone to love,
Somebody new.
Someone to love,
Someone like you.

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    ashleythrockstar
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Re: Writting
« Reply #124 on: Dec 12th, 2002, 8:13pm »
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don't worry, you'll hear it, it'll be on the album... hehe
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Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares us to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is ourselves under pressure.
RockChica02
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  grandexaltedstar2002   JuiceboxDutchess
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Re: Writting
« Reply #125 on: Dec 12th, 2002, 8:17pm »
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Awwww man Ash, you're gonna make me cry again!!!!  Cry But not a sad cry, a good cry!!  Smiley
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"Of all the shooting stars I knew, I never fell for anyone but you..."- Ozma

"One night I met you as the rain glistened in the shine of your eyes."- Melee

.irony.is.for.suckers.
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    ashleythrockstar
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Re: Writting
« Reply #126 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 11:00am »
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Release
 
respond
take deep breaths right through your nose
inhale the peace, flowing deep
to lose the edge, to make you high
relax
pain needle puncture
knuckles: white, line of sight
to numb it all, lose yourself
regret
i'm lost, spinning room
body gone, bright light on
shining in my eyes, turn it off
relief
through my mouth now, pressure or pain
i can't feel it now i don't know how
consciousness fading farther away
refresh
inhale again, clean rubbery air
four eyes gleaming lose their meaning
glazed expression i'm gone
repose
fight back against the pressure, close the jaw
metal in my mouth take it take it out
white bloody piece of thread
reserve
over now don't breathe too deep
oxygen there again, let me know when
keep it in a wooden box
relief
get this off my face, let me leave
i can't speak with all this blocking the leak
white starch faded red
rewind
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Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares us to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is ourselves under pressure.
RockChica02
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Actions are immoral, opinions are not.

  grandexaltedstar2002   JuiceboxDutchess
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Re: Writting
« Reply #127 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 11:44am »
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As always Ash, you have done another rockin' job! I really like that one... there's a lot going on in that piece and that makes it even better.
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"Of all the shooting stars I knew, I never fell for anyone but you..."- Ozma

"One night I met you as the rain glistened in the shine of your eyes."- Melee

.irony.is.for.suckers.
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im like a coozy cup, cool and fuzzy....

    IamJScrew
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Re: Writting
« Reply #128 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 12:03pm »
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how do u guys do it, Ive never been able to just put my thuoghts down on paper and have them sound good, The one that I posted is so cool (I think) and like I dont think I am going to be able to write again, My thoughts are so constipated in my brain its insane. (wow that rymed).  
 
Keep writing ya'll I will keep reading and enjoying
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*A warrior who wears two swords at his side, but does not put the spirit of combat into his heart, is nothing but a peasent or merchent wearing the skin of a warrior*
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    ashleythrockstar
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Re: Writting
« Reply #129 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 5:17pm »
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(to the tune of Greensleeves)
For all intents and purposes, i do my best to mourn thee
But as it seems, life is a dream to those who've come before me
In times like these a solemn breeze is all it takes to haunt me
Still far away, you as the day proclaimed that you didn't want me.
 
Moonfall and an evening star are now the only brightness
Leave me as  try to see how possibly i can fight this
 
When daylight's triumphs greet my eyes, i'll have already forgotten
The scent of you on my clothes and shoes as a whisper of green in the cotton
Now burgundy does not beckon me as sleeves of green and amber
For none so true as the heart of you can boast such painful candor
 
Sunrise of another world is now my hope for sanity
This one is on the run from you and your honest vanity.
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Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares us to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is ourselves under pressure.
wisensmart336
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    wiseguysmart336
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Re: Writting
« Reply #130 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 6:25pm »
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ash those last two were really good, I liked them.
well this next one is not a poem and well umm its well its not for everyone I guess.
 
She exited her home, and began down the street. Careful looking over her shoulder at every shadow, her eyes deceive. She is overcome with a feeling of saftey as she turns the corner, she lets down her guard assured that all is well as she walks down the final alleyway towards town. In the shadows a figure is behind her, careful not to make a noise it inches, following her closer. He draws his switchblade, she stops sudenly but for just a moment and continues.  
He places a hand on her shoulder she whips out her balasong and spins as she grasps his wrist the blade in his other hand slashes her arm and kicks her legs out from underneath her. He lounges to the ground to stab her she kicks him in the groin and drives her blade into the top of his shoulder he withdraws and kicks the knife from her hand. She scrambles to her feet and begins to run for her life knowing that if she makes it out of the alley way she can be saved. with blood pouring from his shoulder he chases after her 20 yards till safety, but he is gaining on her quickly. she can hear his footsteps with only a few feet left she can feel his breath as he grabs her shoulder and turns her towards him he digs his knife into her midsection and drives her to the ground. He stands triuphant over her. turns and walks way.  
He hears a noise from behind him and turns back to see his kill once again. but she is gone, disappered. It is with a look of bewilderment that he dies from bloodloss, not from his shoulder wound, no. but from her fangs digging into his neck and extracting his blood for her own pleasure. It is then that she jumps to the top of the apartment building to spend the night looking over the city till morning.
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if the sun refused to shine I'd still be loving you.
When mountains crumble to the sea there will still be you and me.
one eyed jacks won I'd jax I'm makin' 1 eyed jaks.
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Re: Writting
« Reply #131 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 6:51pm »
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ok first ash, both of those were awsome, totally great, and i used to play greensleeves alllll the time when i used to play my clarinet (aka arthur nox Wink )
second, scott that was wicked cool... i liked all the suspence and all Smiley
ok this is a poem i wrote yesterday about my perfect chance with jakey
 
Perfect Chance
 
I couldnt do it again
I had the perfect chance
I just wanted to tell you
How i feel inside
 
Why couldnt i say it?
 
Maybe ill get another shot
I at least hope so
If i dont get one
Ill be so sad
Oh why couldnt i say it?
 
Next time i swear will be it,
If i dont take this chance
I know ill regret it
when i see you next  
      I'll let you hear it
what i couldnt say to you today
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And what you've got means such a lot to me

Someone to love,
Somebody new.
Someone to love,
Someone like you.

~The Beatles
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Re: Writting
« Reply #132 on: Dec 16th, 2002, 6:54pm »
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ok i was debating on putting this poem on the X-mas post, but i figured since it was writting id put it here
 
Christmas time again
 
its that time of year again
so much to do, yet so little time
all that hustle and bustle
that is not for me
 
no one knows what to think about it
the birth of christ,
or just  a chance to be greedy
that is not for me
 
all i want is to give  
to see the look on my friends faces
how happy i can make them
with one simple gesture
that is definitly me
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And what you've got means such a lot to me

Someone to love,
Somebody new.
Someone to love,
Someone like you.

~The Beatles
Ashley
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    ashleythrockstar
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Re: Writting
« Reply #133 on: Dec 17th, 2002, 6:45pm »
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awesome, i liked those... scott your vampire thing (if i interpreted it right) reminds me of this story i wrote for a scholarship essay, it was about werewolves because i'm CONVINCED that there's werewolves in my woods at home.  It's a full moon tonight, i guess we'll see what happens...
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Love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night and love dares us to change our way of caring about ourselves. This is our last dance. This is ourselves under pressure.
sillyfairy
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  mariposa445   sillyfairy07
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Re: Writting
« Reply #134 on: Dec 18th, 2002, 1:26am »
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NoX i really liked your poem "pefect chance" I could definatley identify with those feelings of wishing for a second chance or for the courage to say what you really feel. Good job Grin
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